Archive | May, 2010

Green Lantern Gets A Plot

30 May

by: Captain Oblivious

Below you will find the official synopsis for next summer’s big screen adventure Green Lantern from Warner Bros. Starring Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan, a cocky test pilot who becomes the first human to be entrusted with a Green Lantern ring. This is the first big DC comic character besides Batman or Superman to get the big budget treatment (no I am not counting Jonah Hex) so I hope Warner doesn’t screw this up.

Here is the synopsis from Warner Bros.

“Bringing the enduringly popular superhero to the big screen for the first time, “Green Lantern” stars Ryan Reynolds (“X-Men Origins: Wolverine”) in the title role, under the direction of Martin Campbell (“Casino Royale”).

In a universe as vast as it is mysterious, a small but powerful force has existed for centuries. Protectors of peace and justice, they are called the Green Lantern Corps. A brotherhood of warriors sworn to keep intergalactic order, each Green Lantern wears a ring that grants him superpowers. But when a new enemy called Parallax threatens to destroy the balance of power in the Universe, their fate and the fate of Earth lie in the hands of their newest recruit, the first human ever selected: Hal Jordan.

Hal is a gifted and cocky test pilot, but the Green Lanterns have little respect for humans, who have never harnessed the infinite powers of the ring before. But Hal is clearly the missing piece to the puzzle, and along with his determination and willpower, he has one thing no member of the Corps has ever had: humanity. With the encouragement of fellow pilot and childhood sweetheart Carol Ferris (Blake Lively), if Hal can quickly master his new powers and find the courage to overcome his fears, he may prove to be not only the key to defeating Parallax…he will become the greatest Green Lantern of all.

Campbell directs “Green Lantern” from a screenplay by Greg Berlanti & Michael Green & Marc Guggenheim and Michael Goldenberg, story by Greg Berlanti & Michael Green & Marc Guggenheim, based upon characters appearing in comic books published by DC Comics.

The film also stars Blake Lively (upcoming “The Town,” TV’s “Gossip Girl”) as the spirited Carol Ferris, a test pilot and the heir apparent to her father’s aviation company; Peter Sarsgaard (“An Education,” “Flightplan”) as scientist Dr. Hector Hammond; Mark Strong (“Sherlock Holmes”) as Sinestro, Jordan’s powerful mentor in the Green Lantern Corps; Jay O. Sanders (“Revolutionary Road”) as Carl Ferris, Carol’s aircraft designer dad; Temuera Morrison (“Star Wars” Episodes II and III) as Abin Sur, Jordan’s alien predecessor; Taika Waititi (TV’s “The Flight of the Conchords”) as flight navigator Tom Kalmaku, Hal’s good friend and confidante; Academy Award® nominee Angela Bassett (“What’s Love Got to Do with It”) as enigmatic government scientist Amanda Waller; and Academy Award® winner Tim Robbins (“Mystic River”) as Hector’s influential father, Senator Robert Hammond.

The film is being produced by Donald De Line (“The Italian Job”) and Greg Berlanti (upcoming “Life As We Know It”). Herbert W. Gains and Andrew Haas serve as executive producers. Geoff Johns and Lucienne Papon are co-producing.

The film’s behind-the-scenes creative team is led by a number of Academy Award® winners, including director of photography Dion Beebe (“Memoirs of a Geisha”), production designer Grant Major (“The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King”), and costume designer Ngila Dickson (“The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King”), as well as Oscar®-nominated editor and longtime Campbell collaborator, Stuart Baird (“Gorillas in the Mist,” “Superman”). The film’s visual effects are being overseen by Oscar®-nominee Kent Houston (“The Adventures of Baron Von Munchausen,” “Casino Royale”).

The film is currently scheduled for release in 3D and 2D on June 17, 2011. “Green Lantern” will be distributed worldwide by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company. ”

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Did Lost Boys 2 Not Crush Your Soul? Well Here’s Lost Boys 3.

28 May

by: Captain Oblivious

I always wondered why people beg and moan for sequels to movies over 20 years old. Ghostbusters 3 for instance. Will I go see it? Oh God yes but make no mistake disappointment may soon follow. Such was the case with Lost Boys 2. Did anyone really expect it to be awesome? If you did then you are kind of foolish. It was bad. Really bad. Even Cory Feldman getting all nostalgic on our a**es as Edgar Frog couldn’t help.

Well everybody knows Cory’s gotta eat. And he’s gotta take care of that hot wife so here he is back as Edgar in Lost Boys 3. Man you would think with Haim gone Feldman would have one less mouth to feed. Oh well enjoy (term used loosely) the preview.

It does make me want to watch the first Lost Boys again and remember when being a vampire used to look cool as opposed to having Crayola glitter skin and pissing and moaning about a seventeen year old girl when you are F***ING ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD.

Warner Bros. Opens Their Movie Funbag Extravaganza

28 May

by: Captain Oblivious

I think Warner Bros. just told all the other studios to suck it.

During a presentation Thursday Warner Bros. brass unveiled what has to be the strongest lineup of movies I have ever seen in a three year span. Including the release date for a sequel to Sherlock Holmes and news that they are greenlighting a big screen adaptation of The Flash. Add to that sequels to The Hangover, Batman and the newly Christopher Nolan-ized Superman franchise and Warner looks like the studio to beat.

Take a look at this lineup and see how Warner just bi*** slapped the other studios.

– Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1- November 19, 2010

– The Hangover 2- May 26, 2011

– Green Lantern- June 17, 2011

– Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2- July 15, 2011

– Happy Feet 2- November 18, 2011

– Sherlock Holmes 2- December 16, 2011

– Batman 3- July 20, 2012

– Superman (The Man of Steel)- Holiday 2012

My guess is that with Christopher Nolan heading up the new Superman project it should actually meet the release date. I’m sure Warner is pushing for that holiday 2012 date because come 2013 they lose all their rights to the Superman character to the creators’ families.


Michael Bay Takes Over Live Action TMNT Movie. Plans On Raping Another Childhood Memory.

28 May

by: Captain Oblivious

Ever wonder what Splinter’s nuts looked like? Well now we may get a chance to find out. Michael Bay’s production company Platinum Dunes has taken over the next live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. If Bay gets his hands on it we will have the turtles using grenade launchers and John Turturro running around in a jock strap talking about he is directly below the rodent’s…….testicles.

But hopefully Bay will stay far, far away from this and let producer Brad Fuller take over and maybe Platinum Dunes can produce a good reboot as they have done with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm St.

Just as long as they don’t go time traveling to feudal Japan or some crap like that again.

James McAvoy Channels His Inner Picard

28 May

by: Captain Oblivious

Well so much for Bilbo Baggins.

Newly hired X-Men: First Class director Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass) has his first star attached to his summer 2011 blockbuster.

Wanted star James McAvoy has signed on to play the younger version of Professor Charles Xavier played by Patrick Stewart in the first two X-Men movies and the abortion known as the third. This film focuses on the strained relationship between longtime friends Charles Xavier and Eric Lensherr as they grow apart because of their differences on how to handle being mutants.

Vaughn has yet to cast any of the other supporting roles including Magneto (Lensherr), and teenage versions of Scott Summers (Cyclops) and Jean Grey. For my money I would cast Joseph Gordon Levitt as Magneto. And don’t give me any of that crap about “the Third Rock From The Sun kid?” Yes I said Levitt. Go watch The Lookout and tell me he can’t handle himself.

Macgruber Review

28 May

by: Captain Oblivious

I figured I would do this review in a way Macgruber fans could understand.

(Harmonica sound)

I went to see Macgruber thinking the theater would be deserted.

Macgruber!

Forgot Sex and the City 2 opened yesterday.

Macgruber!

Had to deal with cougars and chicks that thought this was The Hills.

Macgruber!

Once inside the theater there was guy that was retarded.

Macgruber!

He talked and clapped and coughed all through the movie.

Macgruber!

I thought about punching him but thought he had down syndrome.

Macgruber!

People would look down on that and I would be hated.

Macgruber!

They’d say you see that guy right there he punched a tardo.

Macgruber!

The movie was funny but a little long in places.

Macgruber!

Kristen Wiig is funny as hell in this film.

Macgruber!

The jokes about ripping dicks off pays off in the end.

Macgruber!

It has two of the funniest sex scenes I have ever seen.

Macgruber!

You wanna see Ryan Phillipe stick a stalk of celery in ass then you need to see this movie.

Macgruber!

It’s good not great but for an SNL movie that’s awesome.

Macgruber!

Not as good as Wayne’s World or Blues Brothers but not as crappy as Superstar or It’s Pat.

MACGRUBER!!!!!

(BIG EXPLOSION)

Grade: 6.5/10

First (Fuzzy) Images On What Us Lost Fans Will Be Spending 200 Dollars On In August.

27 May

by: Captain Oblivious

Hey you got your DVD in my island playset.

No you got your got your island playset in my DVD.

Understanding what utter nerds will be buying Lost: The Complete Collection come August 24 the first shots of the massive set have been released and it contains all kinds of goodies.

Packed in a treasure trove box complete with island hieroglyphics is a map of the island, collectible booklet, an ankh, and an actual game of Senet which is the game that Jacob and his brother who didn’t have a name, wasn’t given a name by his “mother” and didn’t pick a name for himself when he got old enough to think “hey why the hell don’t I have a name”, played together.

Also what I am getting nerded up about is the added 12 minutes to the finale which is full of Hurley and Ben taking care of the island goodness!

Oh yea and all six seasons of the show. But if you didn’t know that you should be running special people marathons and stay off of computers.

Lost; The Complete Collection releases on August 24.

See I told you…..August 24. The picture said so.