Archive | March, 2010

Witness The Weirdness Firsthand

31 Mar

by: Captain Oblivious

For those of you that missed the Orlando Jordan entrance on Impact Monday night here it is. Go to 7:53 in the video and be prepared to be mentally raped. I have watched this twice to see if it would melt my brain like The Ring video. If so that means in 7 days I will turn bi……dear God what have I done?

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Random Wrestling Clips Of The Day- 03/31/10

31 Mar

by: Captain Oblivious

Everyone prepare for the coming of a monster. Loaded with terrifying video packages and four weeks of squash matches. The monster Meng returns!!! Then Goldberg says hi. WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK…….on Monday Nitro.

TNA Impact Results- 03/29/10

31 Mar

by: Captain Oblivious

Sorry for the delay but in case you didn’t hear HBK gave his farewell on RAW so there was no way on God’s green earth I was missing it so Impact just had to wait till later to watch.

I feel kind of bad for TNA. They are putting together good Impact’s on a normal basis now but just are not getting the viewers because they are going against the Wrestlemania machine. Hopefully things will pick up heading to Lockdown since Mania is in everyone’s rearview mirror.

1. Jeff Jarrett spoke to Hogan in his office. Hogan said he set up a match between Jarrett and A.J. Styles tonight. If Jarrett won he would be the new #1 contender after Lockdown.

2. Black Machismo made his way in and asked Hogan if he could run the show since Hogan had to leave (uh oh who did Nick kill this time). Hogan gave the yay and the black Savage is running things.

3. Bubba the Love Sponge was on screen so I kind of blacked out with white hot rage filled thoughts of killing him and hiding his body until the search was called off then feeding him through a wood chipper Fargo-style.

4. Kevin Nash said he was sorry to Eric Young and offered him a spot in the Wolfp…the Band. Young said no thanks by taking on all three guys. A simple no would have sufficed.

5. Shannon Moore and Kazarian defeated Doug Williams and Kendrick. Kazarian has had more flame out comebacks than Meng did in WCW. He’s back! The monster Meng! Lose to Goldberg. Done.

6. The Pope came out and cut an Ultimate Warrior like promo. Did I know what he was saying? Hell no but I like it!

7. Orlando Jordan was lowered from the rafters wrapped in caution tape and crawled over to a couch with his two “friends”. I know Jordan is bi but do we have to have a gimmick that overly flaunts it? This segment sucked more ass than Jordan literally does.

8. Tara defeated Daffney in a First Blood Match to retain the Knockouts Title. I love this feud. Probably because I am a massive Daffney fan but these two are working so well together. The ending was weak with the ref calling for the bell with Daffney’s drop of blood on the forehead but as Stu said in Scream, “Those are the rules!”

9. A.J. Styles defeated Jeff Jarrett. Awesome match. If Jarrett keeps bringing it like this I wouldn’t mind him winning the title off of Styles. Styles won with a ball shot (just came up with Orlando Jordan’s finisher) and a Styles Clash.

10. Black Machismo defeated Beer Money in a handicap match. Whose daughter did Beer Money gangbang to have them be in this postition? I always thought Brooke was slutty. Sorry about their damn luck.

11. Desmond Wolfe defeated The Pope. Now this is how you build up your number one contender. Have him lose to a man he has beaten twice. This is the time TNA needs to be giving Pope some wins to make him seem like a credible contender to A.J.

12. Kurt Angle came out and cut a promo about him winning the right way (minus the failed drug tests in WWE). Mr. Anderson came out and cut an awesome promo about Kurt being the better man and that nice guys always finish last. Mr. Anderson thanked God that he was an asshole……asshole.

13. Jeff Hardy, RVD, and Eric Young defeated The Band in a cage match. Very short match as it should have been. Young got the pin after he dropped and elbow on Waltman from the top of the cage.

Captain’s Chair:

+ The Pope’s promo was good. I don’t know what the hell he was talking about with astronaut suits and outer limits but it worked the crowd up.

+ The Jarrett/Styles match was almost PPV quality. When your champ can give you matches like this on free TV it makes me sad to watch RAW.

+ The Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson feud keeps chugging along and I am loving it. Anderson being released from WWE may have been the best thing because he has a new fire in him and it is amazing to watch.

– The Eric Young/Nash stuff is boring me. Even with RVD and Hardy involved I just cannot get behind it.

– The Pope losing to Wolfe on his way to Lockdown.

– Beer Money losing to Black Machismo? Dude.

– Finally the Orlando Jordan segment. That may have been one of the worst and most uncomfortable segments I have ever seen. And that’s just not including wrestling. That involves everything. And I’ve seen some sh**.

WWE NXT Results- 03/30/10

31 Mar

by: Captain Oblivious

NXT had it’s first rookie poll last night. After five weeks it is good to see the show has a direction now. The first rookie poll looked like this:

1. Daniel Bryan

2. Wade Barrett

3. Justin Gabriel

4. Heath Slater

5. David Otunga

6. Skip Sheffield

7. Michael Tarver

8. Darren Young

Now I can’t really complain about the poll because I am sure that this is strictly for story purposes. I like the Bryan at one but the Otunga and Young placement is off so I have to assume that the WWE is using this for story.

Another vote will happen in six weeks and then every week the lowest ranked superstar will be eliminated until a final four is decided. The rookie that wins will be put on a show and receive a championship shot of his choice.

1. R-Truth, CM Punk, Wade Barrett and Matt Hardy defeated William Regal, Carlito, Christian and The Miz in a RAW Pro vs. Smackdown Pro tag match. Barrett was put in by Jericho because he was too injured from his Mania match to compete. Barrett hit his weak finisher on Christian for the pin.

2. David Otunga won the 8 rookie battle royal. Otunga gets to guest host RAW on Monday with the win. I would have him book himself against Cena for the title and give him a good showing against the champ.

Captain’s Chair:

+ It is good to see the show finally has a set direction. I like the idea of giving the winner a championship shot.

+ The pro tag match was good. It was nice to see Barrett could hang in there with the pros.

– I am still sad over HBK’s departure and the video packages aren’t helping any.

I will return to my rookie scores next week but because this was the first rookie poll show and they competed in a battle royal I will just give my 1-8.

1. Daniel Bryan

2. David Otunga

3. Wade Barrett

4. Heath Slater

5. Darren Young

6. Justin Gabriel

7. Skip Sheffield

8. Michael Tarver

Till next time true believer……

2010 Movie Preview- Knight And Day

30 Mar

by: Captain Oblivious

I am surprised. I like this preview. No matter what you think about Tom Cruise you can’t deny that he knows how to pull off smug better than anyone in Hollywood. Like Mr. and Mrs. Smith a few years ago I think I will be pleasantly surprised with this movie.

The Dead Walk Onto AMC!

30 Mar

by: Captain Oblivious

AMC has given the go ahead for six episodes of The Walking Dead based on Robert Kirkman’s amazing comic series. The pilot was directed by Frank Darabont and Darabont will be on as producer, director and writer for the five other episodes as well.

The show will start in October during the networks’ annual Fearfest which runs straight horror movies until Halloween night. For me that is perfect timing. Come October AMC is regular viewing for me with 24 hour horror marathons till the 31st. Now add in the debut of Walking Dead and you can color me excited.

What is the color of excited? There is probably no safe answer.

The 3 Best Wrestlers On All 3 Shows

30 Mar

by: Captain Oblivious

As I sit here still saddened by HBK’s departure I began to think about the state of the big three wrestling shows. Those would be RAW, Smackdown and Impact for those of you wondering. As I examined all the rosters an idea begins to form. Though this rarely happens I decide to run with it. Here are the three best wrestlers going on the three main shows right now.

Monday Night Raw
1. Randy Orton

– I am going to make the statement and you can quote me. Randy Orton is poised to be the next “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. His face turn now all but done the reactions he gets from live crowds surpasses all on RAW. He is like Austin in that he can retain his heel tendencies, do whatever the hell he wants to and people are going to love him more and more. I believe the biggest part of Orton’s career is ahead of him.

2. The Miz

– You may not like the Miz but eventually you will have to admit something. The Miz is the future of main event heels. Money on the mic week after week and good in the ring. No one can get a crowd booing quicker than Miz. I am a Miz fan so his climb to the top is going to be fun to watch. Why? Because he’s the Miz…..and he’s awesome!

3. Batista

– He may be officially on the Smackdown roster he is on this RAW list because he is this good on the show. Hopefully he will be moved over during the draft this year. Reinventing your career this late can not be an easy thing but Batista has done so with flying colors. It is just a shame that it took this long to figure out that this heel Batista is stuff HOF careers are made of.

Smackdown

1. CM Punk

– As the leader of the Straightedge Society, our would be savior is the main reason to watch Smackdown. He is the only man in the business that can be given five minutes of mic time and cut essentially the same promo every week and have it be new and fresh and never boring. And his in ring work is amazing also so no worries there. I believe he is this new generation’s Shawn Michaels.

2. Chris Jericho

– Who would have thought that the second coming of Jericho would be far better than his first run? After his short face run was over he stripped away everything we knew about Jericho’s character and started over from scratch. The results are a leaner, meaner Jericho and one that never bores.

3. John Morrison

– While his teaming with R-Truth for the past month has been a bump in the road John Morrison is still on the climb to superstardom. While it took fans awhile to truly accept him as a face he is now the most over face on the show besides Taker and possibly Edge. His push has been slow and deliberate but I believe it is time for WWE to sh** or get off the pot in 2010 when it comes to Morrison. Someone needs to pull the trigger and break him through to the main event and challenge him to carry the ball.

TNA Impact

1. A.J. Styles

– He has been champ since September and honestly there is no reason to have him lose it anytime soon. His association with Ric Flair has been a great attribute to his career. TNA should watch how much they have him act like Lil Naitch but otherwise Styles is running TNA…as well he should.

2. Kurt Angle

– I never would have thought that Angle leaving for TNA would have been this good for his career. His tenure in WWE while good was admittedly at an end. He honestly had feuds with everyone possible and TNA was a logical step. He seemingly goes all out for every match whether it be on an Impact or a PPV and I still believe he will wrestle till he dies in the ring. He’s that stubborn. It’s true…it’s damn true.

3. “The Pope” D’angelo Dinero

– I am glad that TNA recognizes certain talent. Grossly misused and released by WWE Dinero made his way to TNA and is, in my mind, becoming like a new generation black Ultimate Warrior. His promos don’t make a damn bit of sense but you get excited. He clicks with the fans and we all know he can bring it in the ring. Can you feel it dude?!