TNA Impact Results- 03/22/10

23 Mar

by: Captain Oblivious

Oh TNA. Like a bastard child you are unappreciated. Some weeks it is deserved. But last night while neither show really blew the box out I enjoyed your two hours of programming better. Which suprised me completely. Who’d have thunk it. The final RAW before Wrestlemania was tepid at best so Impact did not have to be amazing to catch my attention. Let’s roll!

1. Eric Bischoff came out for his weekly Jeff Jarrett humiliation. Jarrett finally had enough and hit Jarrett with what Scott Hudson likes to call it “the acoustic equalizer”. God I hated Scott Hudson. Anyway so Jarrett attacked Bischoff. I smell payback. Bischoff announces that tonight it will be Mick Foley against Jeff Jarrett and the loser is fired.

2. Daffney and TBP defeated Tara, Sarita, Taylor Wilde and Angelina Love. Daffney picked up the win and made off with Tara’s tarantula again. Bitch…please. But seriously TNA’s knockout division is a thousand times better than the divas division and some of their matches are better than a lot of the men’s matches on RAW or Smackdown.

3. Hulk Hogan made the announcement that there will be a Lethal Lockdown match at the PPV. It will be Team Hogan vs. Team Flair. Age in the Cage 2: Geriatric Boogaloo. So Abyss will captain Team Hogan and Sting will captain Team Flair. The lights went out and Sting was in the ring and Hogan was handcuffed to the ropes. Styles put the boots to Abyss. The Pope made the save and all the good guys stood tall in the end.

4. Big Rob Terry defeated Tomko to retain the Global Title. Apparently on his way back to TNA from Japan Tomko hit every Dunkin Donuts and chinese buffet along the way. Terry won in about two minutes with his spinebuster finisher.

5. Jeff Jarrett defeated Mick Foley to save his job but fire Foley. Beer Money were the special refs for this match. Jarrett and Foley actually brought something to this match. Jarrett hit the Stroke and won. After, Bischoff told Beer Money to attack Jarrett. RVD and Jeff Hardy made the save. They challenged Beer Money to a match and they accepted.

6. Mick Foley beat the hell out of Bubba the Dickhead before leaving. That may be my favorite segment from both shows last night.

7. Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez ended in a no contest when Morgan hit the Carbon Footprint on Hernandez against the ring post.

8. RVD and Jeff Hardy defeated Beer Money. RVD hit Rolling Thunder and Hardy hit the swanton followed by a Five Star Frogsplash. Pretty fun match.

9. Eric Young came in the ring and announced that next week Nash, Hall and Waltman will face off against young, Hardy and RVD.

Captain’s Chair:

+ The main event was fun. Not an amazing tag match but it was a good main event. I guess having Beer Money in the main event shows a small push even though they are losing? Iiiii don’t know.

+ The Jarrett/Foley match was good. It is hard to tell believable loser gets fired stories anymore but both guys wrestled like something was on the line.

+ The Knockouts, as usual, were entertaining.

+ The Hernandez angle was done very well. The same as the Jarret thing. Serious injury angles are difficult theses days. Having Homicide come out as well as some backstage guys like Terry Taylor made it work.

+ A slight plus for Big Rob Terry. At least TNA is trying to make people care about the Global Title. And there have been far worse big guys in the ring that Big Rob.

– No matter how much time TNA gives the Eric Young saga with The Band I just can’t seem to care.

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