Captain Oblivious’ Worst Movie, Biggest Disappointment and Biggest Surprise In 2009

14 Jan

by: Captain Oblivious

We have come a long way as a society when you really look at it. At least the worst movies now have production values. I really did not watch any truly horrible movies this year save one or two. There were some bad ones of course but few made my brain hurt. Now to quote James Franco in Pineapple Express “I’m done with the woods….lets roll.”

Biggest Disappointment

District 9

Please do not misunderstand me. District 9 was not a bad movie by any stretch of the imagination. It is enjoyable but for a film that is on virtually every top ten list I was expecting a film that engrossed me and captured my attention on an emotional and political level. But high expectations are a dangerous thing. I can see why this became such a success but still am baffled at the unusually high praise it is receiving.

Biggest Surprise(s) -Tie-

New Moon and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Now if you know me you must be wondering if I am in my right mind putting these two films as my biggest surprises of the year. Well they deserve this distinction because you would believe either could have been the worst movie of the year….but they are not. And yes while I did not like New Moon it was leaps and bounds better than Twilight (but of course that is like saying that your second kid is only slightly autistic instead of having down syndrome like your first child).

And in Transformers’ case it was just a case of wrong place right time. Wrong place because it was actually allowed to be released in theaters but right time because it came out before my worst movie of the year which happens to be…..

Worst Movie

Halloween 2

My face hurt after watching this movie. It was probably because I had just watch my favorite horror icon get cinematically raped by the superbeast himself Rob Zombie. Like I have said before I really like Zombie’s first take on Halloween. It was new and fresh while remaining mostly true to the canon of Halloween. But this….this is wrong. If this was just a Rob Zombie serial killer X horror movie it would have worked fine but it is not. It has Halloween in the title for a reason. I am not one of those purists that thinks that everything must remain the same (as I said I like his first Halloween) but I would pay real money to see John Carpenter repeatedly kick Rob Zombie in the nuts over this.

And if you read this Rob….please do not stab me in the face like EVERY victim in the movie. And you do not have to have your wife in everything you direct….


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